Mafia II (IC)

[Bippwatt]

Bippwatt groaned. He struggled to wakefulness. Why the hell do I have a headache He looked around. He was just inside his cabin's door, still wearing his uniform. He looked around again.

"What the hell?" He felt his head. Ouch! That hurts. Then it came rushing back. Ah. He had fallen asleep on his feet, not even 10 feet from his bunk. Must have hit his head on the deck sole, which explained the head ache.

He got up and staggered on his feet. Sleeping on the deck hadn't done much good for his muscles. He was cramped ten ways til' Tuesday and it wasn't likely to release any time soon.

He suddenly got this queer feeling in his spine, like someone had slid a needle into his back and injected liquid nitrogen into his spine.

He sent a hand down for his pistol, only to find that he hadn't brought it with him on his last duty shift. He opened the locked lockbox under his bunk and grabbed his sidearm. It had a few notches in it's grip, each one denoting a grunt killed with it. There were only about five of them. He was Navy, not a Marine. He preferred to fight his enemy in a battle-steel hulled ship with the meanest weapons humanity could build.

He clipped it to his waist and went to the bridge. He opened the hatch on a scene right out of a bad horror vid. At first he was disbelieving.

"Guys, April is a long ways away. Stop with the joking." But then he saw Beta12's pistol, then took another look. There was no mistaking it. It was death. And, it was Noobalicious. "Oh, fuck. I'm gonna go lock myself in my quarters. Maybe piss my pants a bit. I did not sign up to be locked on a ship with a fucked up psycho butcher!"

He leaves the bridge and proceeds to lock himself in his cabin.

(+1 for Usual Suspects reference!)

[Dutch]

With a sigh, Dutch rubbed his face. He didn't need this right now, not at all. With a weary look he raised Bippwatt's cabin on the COM system.

"Bipp, get back to the bridge now. We'll need to figure what sonuvabitch killed him."

[Daenerys Targaryen]

"You realize if he keeps himself locked in his cabin, I will take that as a signed confession...." Beta12 groaned, wanting to pop the man right in the back of the head.

[Bippwatt]

Bippwatt sighed. "Aye, sir.", he said back, his voice surly. He came back to the bridge, still wearing his pistol.

"Can we at least get him off the ceiling and give him a naval burial?", Bippwatt asked, pointed at Noob, while looking incredibly green around the gills.

[Dutch]

Dutch looked back up at the dripping corpse on the wall and grimaced.

"Sure, but I'm sure as hell not getting him off. You can do that." Then his eyes narrowed maliciously. "In fact, I order you to retrieve him from the ceiling."

[Domoa]

Domoa's eyes widened when he walked into the bridge to see one of his fellow crewman hanging from the ceiling.

"Umm... whats going on?"

[Bippwatt]

Bippwatt's eyes widened. "Sir?" He couldn't have heard that right. Commander Dutch had to know that the sight of blood was like a one-way ticket to puke city. The only reason he hadn't hurled yet was because he was pretending he didn't see it and refraining from looking at it too closely.

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Yes, sir!", he snapped out, spinning around to look at Noob. He tried to pretend he was just fixing the bulkhead, not taking down a dead, bloodied crewmember. He almost hurled as he yanked the hooks in the heels of Noob's feet out. But, despite being as green as a St. Patty's day party, he managed it. He held onto Noob's leg as he got the second one out and he lowered the body gently to the ground.

Bippwatt, now looking like he needed to take a trip to the med bay, stood up. He pulled the blades out of Noob's eyes, suddenly noticing that they were fake. "Uh, sir? These blades aren't real. They're rubber. What does that mean?"

He stood up and took the blades to Commander Dutch. "I don't think that even an split-lip could have dug these into the eye sockets with out some major changes. Like maybe a blade that didn't flex so much."

Turning to Domoa, he spoke, sounding like he was forcibly trying to not puke on the deck. "Someone on the ship went psycho and killed Noobalicious. Rather... nastily." He choked on the last. He ran out of the room and into the bathroom down a few meters. His retching could be heard through the open bridge door and then stopped. A few minutes later, he returned, still looking sick, but at least a bit of the green in his face had receded.

[Dutch]

With a look of growing disgust a feeling of rising bile, Dutch flinched and looked away as the hooks were ripped from Noob's feet. When Bippwatt brought him the two bloodied rubber blades, Dutch picked them up ad examined them curiously.

"Interesting, the bastard musta used real blades and then switched 'em. Oh and good work Bippwatt." He raised his head in thanks, but Bippwatt was puking his guts out somewhere. Dutch shrugged and waited for Captain Commando to arrive.

[spartan129]

Shiloh was woken by Dutch's voice blaring over the comms. He reported to the bridge, and before he could say a word, he nearly vomited-the bloodied body of Noobalicious was on the ground.

After he had his stomach under control, he managed to say, "Whoever did this, they were on the ship. It was one of us-the only question is, which one?"

[Bippwatt]

Bippwatt entered again just as Shiloh asked the obvious question.

"Uh, the one who isn't green and puking? Just a random assed guess." He still sounded very sick, as though he might have to make another charge for the bathrooms again. God. I hate being so wimpy!, he thought.

[Domoa]

Domoa looked over at the pathetic crew member who couldnt stop vomiting. "Its just a dead body, be a man."

He then looked over at Shiloh "I bet it was you captain obvious."

[spartan129]

"Of course," Shiloh said, rolling his eyes, "The person who voices reason is accused. And more reason that it wasn't me: I was up before anyone yesterday doing cargo check, and you saw me drag myself to the quarters. Speaking of which, I quarter with you-you would've heard me get up if it had been me."

He glanced at Noobalicious's body again, before continuing, "Personally, I think it was Dutch. He has his own personal quarters, and he just happened to be the one to discover the body. And why would the killer target Noobalicious, as opposed to a leader? Unless they were the leader."

[Dutch]

Dutch had been standing around, calm as he could be. He was already pretty jittery on the inside, and drinking coffee wasn't helping. But drank it he did as he listened to the shock and horror of the crew slowly turn to suspicion. He was still considering what to say about it when Shiloh accused him of being the killer, causing him to spit out a mouthful of coffee.

"What?" He sounded more shocked than anything. "I am the killer? Just because I have responsibilities and duties as the commander so I got out of bed first? And perhaps it was a vendetta, something personal. Now who here has had any trouble with him?"

[Spartan 999]

Cthulhu Disciple was examining the body, seeing the knife wound to the jugular, and the bloody sockets.

"I believe Domoa did it." Cthulhu mused, almost absent-mindedly. "So, that's that. Whoever did really do this is one effed-up figlio puttana. Noobalicious probably couldn't even scream when the hooks went into his eyes...and he was most likely still conscious the whole time."

Cthulhu Disciple sighed, wishing he could just be at home on the Italian beach instead of here.

[Daenerys Targaryen]

Beta12 perked up at the statment made by Cthulhu Disciple. "How in the Hell would you know that he couldn't even scream when those hooks went into his eyes, how do you know they were hooks before the killer replaced them with rubber knifes?" Knowing that anyone could of easily muffled any scream with an on hand object, possibly a cloth or a pillow, hell he could of been drugged before the murder. "You seem to know alot about the way Noobalicious died.."

[Dutch]

Dutch's eyes turned on Disciple, narrowing as they took him in.

"Beta has a good point, you do seem to have a deal of knowledge of the specifics of Noobalicious's death. I say it was you who murdered him while we slept."

[Domoa]

"Yeah.. how do you know all this? I vote Disciple."

[Bippwatt]

Hearing Domoa's comment on him, he turned. "Fuck you." He gave a lengthy pause. "Sir."

He looked around. "I wager it was Cthulhu Disciple, as well. He seems to have too much of an idea of what happened.

He fingered his pistol, wondering if the best plan might be to just shoot them all. He would certainly be safe from any assassin then.

[Spartan 999]

Cthulhu Disciple stared at the others blankly.

"Seriously?" he said in a monotone that had a bit of a sigh in it, "You are going to shoot me for being the only medical personnel on board and for following medical logic and attempting to deduce what happened, even though it is my job? Alright, fine. I hypothesize that the killer cut Noob's throat first, and then gouged his eyes out with the metal hooks, since it would be stupid to do it with the rubber ones as they aren't that sharp. And what killer would gouge the eyes out first, if they were to risk Noob screaming and waking up the ship? No, cutting the throat first would have been tidier."

Cthulhu stared at them, eyebrows furrowed. "I am not saying I know how it happened, I'm just making an educated guess. Also, Beta12 now has my vote."

[Dutch]

"As the ships doctor you would also have the best ideas of wear to strike so he would die the quickest and fastest." Dutch pointed out, eyes narrowing. "And why suddenly so ready to blame beta? Trying to draw the attention off yourself it sounds like."

[Daenerys Targaryen]

He glared toward Disciple, blame me will you? "Are you kidding me? I'm sure if I wasn't the one to point your words out, someone else would of."

[spartan129]

"Beta, you don't need to worry, calm down," Shiloh said to his fellow crewmate. "Although...you did seem quite fast to explain why it wasn't you. Both you and Dutch seem pretty suspicious to me, albeit not as suspicious as Disciple. I say it was him, but I'm keeping a close watch on you two."

Shiloh collected people's votes in his head. "Unless I'm mistaken," he said, "We seem to all think it was Disciple...with the exception of Disciple himself, of course." He stared coldly at the medical officer, his hand resting on his holstered M6E.

[Dutch]

Dutch noted Shiloh's hand drifting towards his M6 pistol and raised his hands warningly.

"Woah, slow down there crewman. We should get the Captain up here before we do anything rash."

[Spartan 999]

Sigh...

"And if I'm not mistaken, pretty much all of you would have the knowledge to do this as well." Cthulhu Disciple said resignedly. "So...are you all sure that your decisions are what you really want?"

[spartan129]

"I don't know," Shiloh said as he glanced away from Disciple for a moment to confront Dutch. "Speaking of the Captain, he seems to be taking his sweet time about getting here. What, you knocked him off too? S'pose that would make sense to a crazy person, eliminate the one higher up so you can have their position..."

[Dutch]

Dutch stared at Shiloh like he was insane.

"Kill the Captain? And take on his responsibilities too? I've already got enough duties on this ship without needing to care for the entire thing as well."

[Daenerys Targaryen]

"What if the Captain DID do it and then jumped ship?"
Beta12 then shrugs this off, "Nah, Disciple knows to much about this, lets wait until the captain gets here, or send someone to go look for him"

[spartan129]

"Alright, Beta, lets say the Captain shows up," Shiloh said, "We'll let him decide what to do with the Disciple, sound reasonable?"

[SuperCommando]

At that exact moment, the automatic door to the bridge whooshed open, revealing Captain Commando standing there, groggy-eyed and zombie-like, who had also apparently forgotten he was still wearing his pajamas.

That's what I get for pretending not to be tired... He mentally groaned to himself, having only just gone to bed an hour or so earlier. He looked around at the carnage on the bridge, tilted his head to one side, then yawned.

"Nice prank guys, really. But you'll have to do better than that to unnerve a fearless UNSC Captain such as myself. And frankly, I'm somewhat disturbed that this is how you spend your time when bored rather than doing something productive. Now if you excuse me, I am in dire need of some R&R. Commander Dutch, see to it this mess is cleaned up, will you?"

With that, he turned around and began to walk back out the door...

[Domoa]

"Captain, this isnt a prank."